Today’s post appears at Parenting Squad.  I hope you’ll check it out and leave some comments to let me know what you thought.  Hope everyone is having a great week!

http://parentingsquad.com/dads-be-a-hero

Happy Father’s Day to all the other dads out there!  I had a great one myself.  The kids gave me homemade cards this morning, which is a always a nice treat.  My wife gave me a beautiful wooden bill organizer for my desk (I think she is trying to tell me something).

We took the kids to an indoor play place and had lunch, and then returned home for some backyard fun in the sprinklers.  I grilled steaks for dinner and my wife served up a homemade peanut butter pie for dessert.  It was a great way to finish off the day.

The kids spotted a new bird’s nest on our backporch with fresh eggs.  It seemed fitting since we had baby birds hatch on Mother’s Day just in front or our windows.  It provided a great view for the kids to watch Momma bird feed her babies, and daddy bird guard the nest.  I hope they make it an annual tradition.

Back to work tomorrow (and back to reality).  Hope everyone has a great week!

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The other night I was out watering the square foot garden while my kids were running around the yard, riding power wheels and bicycles. It had been an extremely hot day, and even though the sun was setting, the humidity was still around. As my son made a pass on his bicycle, I turned and sprayed him a bit with the watering hose. Imagine the look on his face - I’m usually the one yelling, “Don’t mess with the hose,” or “Don’t get your new shoes muddy!”

The innocent spray soon turned into a full-on assault with me spraying with water, and them trying to avoid it (well, only some of the time - what kid doesn’t like to get wet in the summertime?). I could tell by their reactions that they were a little surprised Dad had cut loose and was actually letting them get wet, and muddy, and ruin those new shoes. For the moment, at least, I didn’t care.

The event was a great reminder that occasionally it’s fun to relax the rules a bit and show your kids you still know how to have fun. Every now and then I’ll get out on their trampoline and bounce around a little, and I love to join them in a little backyard soccer game. I’ve found that when dad relaxes a bit and shows a fun side it has a way of calming kids’ nerves, which is a timely lesson considering it is summer break and they are cooped up in the house much of the day. Mom appreciated the break as well!

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photo by magnusfranklin

I admit it - I am a biased father.  I think my kids are two of the greatest kids in the entire world, and I don’t mind telling anyone who will listen.  However, there is a danger in telling kids they are number one in all aspects of their lives.  For instance, one of my kids is much more athletic than the other, while the other one is much more successful academically. This isn’t anything to be ashamed of.  After all, it is this diversity that makes teams (and societies) great - members rely on the strengths of others, and vice versa.

A Side Effect of Political Correctness?

If we can agree that some kids are better at some things than others, why then must every child be treated with the same set of rewards and punishment?  Schools today often punish entire classes or grade-levels if standardized test scores are not met.  Conversely, entire classes are given rewards when many times individuals within the class fail the objective.  What happened to rewarding individual effort?  It seems to have been tossed out in the name of not hurting feelings.

In Japan, the entire cast of a school play was recently “awarded” the lead role in Snow White.  Must have been quite a sight - two dozen Snow Whites, but no dwarfs.  Apparently the school caved after parents fought administrators because they felt their child was most qualified to play the lead role.  What a ridiculous notion!  What’s next - Every kid gets to play quarterback on the football team, or each grade elects 167 “presidents” of the student council?  There’s nothing wrong with playing a supporting role.  In fact, some people have become very successful simply by helping leaders be more effective by being a great follower.

Kids today need to be given confidence boosters - no doubt about that.  But they also need to be told that they have strengths and weaknesses that make them unique. Encourage them to celebrate their individuality, because it seems society is moving more and more towards a collectivism that stifles competition, and discouraged individual thought.

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It is always sad when a marriage ends in divorce, especially when kids are involved and there are charges of infidelity. As a guy, I’m always amazed to learn when a husband cheats on his drop-dead gorgeous wife.

Now, appearances aren’t everything, and we don’t know what kind of private life people lead, but as a guy you have to ask someone like Mutt Lange, “What were you thinking?” Let’s face it, Mutt wasn’t exactly a looker. And who can forget Shania in that leopard number a few years ago?

I guess the lesson learned here is that sometimes guys just don’t appreciate how good they’ve got it, and the constant need for something different leads them astray. It serves as a good reminder for the rest of us to count the blessings in our own lives. I’m lucky to be married to a beautiful wife, and have two beautiful children. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, or anyone in the world. Nope - not even Shania Twain!

photo by Jerry Daykin

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Remember when the ideal American man was rugged, tough, handsome, intelligent, courageous, and confident? No? Me neither. That’s because for the last forty or fifty years the image of the American man has been deteriorated by a media obsessed with political correctness and equality. So much so that they have allowed the pendulum to swing too far in the opposite direction, creating a series of leading “men” who possess qualities far opposite from what the ideal used to be. Apparently, I’m not the only one that thinks dads in the media are portrayed this way.

Sitcom Dads

Think of the current list of hit television sitcoms. It’s tough to come up with one with a strong, male lead character. TV Dads are usually portrayed as weak, goofy, and totally out of touch. Dads and husbands are frequently run over by stronger, beautiful, intelligent women who for some unknown reason chose the goofball as their spouse. I guess it just isn’t politically correct to portray a husband and father leading his family, parenting his children, and making a successful career. When sitcom dads aren’t running into walls, getting fired from their jobs, or burning something in the kitchen, they are portrayed as skirt-chasing ogres who lack any loyalty to their wives. Conversely, the show Desperate Housewives, which features at least one housewife and one divorcee known for their proclivity to sleep around, is wildly popular. Go figure.

Movie Dads

Movies aren’t much better. Many of today’s leading men look more like yesterday’s leading women. I remember back when Leonardo DiCaprio was the “hunk” of the time. To qualify for “hunk” status you should probably weigh more than 150 pounds and not make a habit of tossing your blonde locks out from in front of your eyes when you read lines. Then again, my favorite actors growing up were Stallone, Bruce Willis and Harrison Ford. These guys were a “man’s man.” They liked violence, pretty girls and an occasional drink, and they didn’t apologize for it.

Male Beauty Products

The other day I stopped in a Bath and Body Works store with my wife, despite the immediate threat of an asthma attack. I noticed an entire shelf devoted to “Male Beauty Products” stocked with skin softeners and wrinkle cream. Are you kidding me? Where’s the Lava soap and aftershave? That’s all we need to get clean and smell good. Who buys this stuff, anyway? A local spa is currently running a radio advertisement in which they cite a statistic that something like 30% of people receiving “anti-aging” treatments are men. Huh? When real men start to get wrinkles they just grow a beard. When real men start losing some hair they just shave it close. And speaking of spa treatments, when our nails grow too long we’ll just bite ‘em or clip ‘em, thank you very much!

Real Men Do Have a Soft Side

There are couple things that can still get to a real man, but we’ll never refer to it as showing our “feminine side.” It’s just part of being a man, and a devoted husband and father. My kids are pretty good at tugging on my heartstrings, and I’ve never felt pain like seeing one of them get hurt, or lying in bed sick. It’s one of the few times I feel completely helpless. I also have a soft spot for animals, and Mother Nature’s beauty. Perhaps I inherited that from my grandfather, who in his retirement has become quite the shutterbug snapping up beautiful nature photographs. You probably wouldn’t guess just a few decades before he retired a colonel from the United States Marine Corp. He is the strongest man I’ve ever known, and the most gentle, too - Hollywood should take a clue.

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