One of the more exhausting parenting routines is bedtime.  Teeth brushing, story reading, checking for monsters in the closet, getting water, etc, etc. can make for a long night.  But it is even worse for parents and children when your kids suffer from insomnia.  My son has had trouble falling asleep since he was a baby, and when he reached toddler stage he had trouble staying asleep.  He’s four now, and we still struggle with the bedtime routine.  In fact, the night before this writing I was up with him from around 4:00am to 5:00am.

The Experts - What Do They Know?

We’ve consulted pediatricians, child behavioral specialist, books, and we even watch that lady Jo Jo the Nanny on television.  What we have discovered is that none of them know our child like we know our child, and none of them have to sleep at our house.  So, we’ve adopted the philosophy–whatever works.  Some nights my son wakes up and can be put back to bed relatively easily.  Other nights he wakes up and will sleep in our bed for the remainder of the night or early morning.  Often times we have to stay in his room a while until he falls back to sleep.  It is disruptive, but we know at some point he will grow out of this phase and when he is a teenager we will probably have to drag him out of bed.

Our “Homemade” Insomnia Remedies

We are certainly not experts, but we have learned a trick or two over the years of dealing with a child with insomnia.  Here’s a short list of things we’ve found help our little guy fall asleep.

• Play soft music at bedtime.  My son has listened to Baby Einstein lullaby CDs since birth.  The music is soothing, and helps him relax before bedtime.

• Reading stories.  We’ve read to both our kids for about 20-30 minutes before bedtime since they were old enough to sit up.  Developing a reading hobby is important for kids, and you can never start to young.  It also helps kids unwind (and has even been known to evoke a yawn or two from Dad!).

• White noise.  Our kids both have problems with allergies, so we run a filter in their rooms at night.  A side benefit is that the filter’s fan makes an audible noise much like” white noise” and helps block out other noises around the house.

• A back rub and a soft massage.  Kids respond to soft touch because it makes them feel secure. I remember falling asleep many nights wity Mom and my grandmother gently stroking my hair as I drifted off to sleep.  My son also likes us to gently massage the webbing of his hands (between index finger and thumb).  Not sure why, but it must relax him because he always gets sleepy after a hand massage and a backrub.  Find out what relaxes your little one and spend a few minutes indulging them at the end of a long day.

• Be patient.  I should have listed this one first, because it is by far the most important thing to remember when helping your child battle insomnia.  Childhood insomnia could be a side effect of a host of physical or psychological issues, and often times the child can’t help it.  Be patient, and resist getting angry or raising your voice–it will only make matters worse, as your child when then become anxious about the whole bedtime routine for fear of making you angry.  This anxiety will make the insomnia worse.

Photo by theritters

Few habits are as important to instill in our children as saving money.  And let’s face it, discussions about finance, banking and saving money are not all that exciting to most kids.  But ING Direct has a high yield saving product designed especially for the online generation. 

Daily Interest Tracking

The ING Direct Orange Savings account is one of the best online banking products around.  We opened an ING account for our family savings a few months ago and have enjoyed the features ING offers.  From a kid’s perspective, one of the most exciting features in ING Direct’s online interface is the “Interest Earned This Month” field that shows the cumulative interest accrued each day for the current month.  With most interest-bearing accounts you are forced to wait until the end of the month to save how much interest you earned.  Not so with ING Direct.  Their interest field updates daily, and is a great way to introduce kids to the power of compounding interest.

Creating Sub-Accounts

Another great feature of the Orange Savings Account is the ability to create multiple accounts from a single login.  These “subaccounts,” as they are frequently referred to, allow customers to create individualized accounts right down the description that displays online.  For instance, you could set up a savings account for your child labeled “New Bike” where they will save money earned by doing chores.  This could be separate from a child’s “Giving” account, or an older child’s “Back to School” account.  Allowing kids to watch their balances grow for specific goals is great visual reinforcement and goes a long way towards teaching them the importance of saving and investing.

You may sign up for an ING Direct Savings account here.  With enhanced security features, top-notch customer service, and a great online banking interface, I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

Here’s something that might make back-to-school time a little less painful.  Register your child for a free phone call from Hannah Montana!  I imagine my kids would get a kick out of answering the phone on the first day of school and hearing Hannah Montana on the other end of the line.

Too bad they don’t have a script that reads, “Cleaning up your room and helping Mom and Dad around the house is cool!”

http://parentingsquad.com/dads-be-a-hero

We took the kids to an indoor play place and had lunch, and then returned home for some backyard fun in the sprinklers.  I grilled steaks for dinner and my wife served up a homemade peanut butter pie for dessert.  It was a great way to finish off the day.

The kids spotted a new bird’s nest on our backporch with fresh eggs.  It seemed fitting since we had baby birds hatch on Mother’s Day just in front or our windows.  It provided a great view for the kids to watch Momma bird feed her babies, and daddy bird guard the nest.  I hope they make it an annual tradition.

Back to work tomorrow (and back to reality).  Hope everyone has a great week!

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The innocent spray soon turned into a full-on assault with me spraying with water, and them trying to avoid it (well, only some of the time - what kid doesn’t like to get wet in the summertime?). I could tell by their reactions that they were a little surprised Dad had cut loose and was actually letting them get wet, and muddy, and ruin those new shoes. For the moment, at least, I didn’t care.

The event was a great reminder that occasionally it’s fun to relax the rules a bit and show your kids you still know how to have fun. Every now and then I’ll get out on their trampoline and bounce around a little, and I love to join them in a little backyard soccer game. I’ve found that when dad relaxes a bit and shows a fun side it has a way of calming kids’ nerves, which is a timely lesson considering it is summer break and they are cooped up in the house much of the day. Mom appreciated the break as well!

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photo by magnusfranklin

A Side Effect of Political Correctness?

If we can agree that some kids are better at some things than others, why then must every child be treated with the same set of rewards and punishment?  Schools today often punish entire classes or grade-levels if standardized test scores are not met.  Conversely, entire classes are given rewards when many times individuals within the class fail the objective.  What happened to rewarding individual effort?  It seems to have been tossed out in the name of not hurting feelings.

In Japan, the entire cast of a school play was recently “awarded” the lead role in Snow White.  Must have been quite a sight - two dozen Snow Whites, but no dwarfs.  Apparently the school caved after parents fought administrators because they felt their child was most qualified to play the lead role.  What a ridiculous notion!  What’s next - Every kid gets to play quarterback on the football team, or each grade elects 167 “presidents” of the student council?  There’s nothing wrong with playing a supporting role.  In fact, some people have become very successful simply by helping leaders be more effective by being a great follower.

Kids today need to be given confidence boosters - no doubt about that.  But they also need to be told that they have strengths and weaknesses that make them unique. Encourage them to celebrate their individuality, because it seems society is moving more and more towards a collectivism that stifles competition, and discouraged individual thought.

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Now, appearances aren’t everything, and we don’t know what kind of private life people lead, but as a guy you have to ask someone like Mutt Lange, “What were you thinking?” Let’s face it, Mutt wasn’t exactly a looker. And who can forget Shania in that leopard number a few years ago?

I guess the lesson learned here is that sometimes guys just don’t appreciate how good they’ve got it, and the constant need for something different leads them astray. It serves as a good reminder for the rest of us to count the blessings in our own lives. I’m lucky to be married to a beautiful wife, and have two beautiful children. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, or anyone in the world. Nope - not even Shania Twain!

photo by Jerry Daykin

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Sitcom Dads

Think of the current list of hit television sitcoms. It’s tough to come up with one with a strong, male lead character. TV Dads are usually portrayed as weak, goofy, and totally out of touch. Dads and husbands are frequently run over by stronger, beautiful, intelligent women who for some unknown reason chose the goofball as their spouse. I guess it just isn’t politically correct to portray a husband and father leading his family, parenting his children, and making a successful career. When sitcom dads aren’t running into walls, getting fired from their jobs, or burning something in the kitchen, they are portrayed as skirt-chasing ogres who lack any loyalty to their wives. Conversely, the show Desperate Housewives, which features at least one housewife and one divorcee known for their proclivity to sleep around, is wildly popular. Go figure.

Movie Dads

Movies aren’t much better. Many of today’s leading men look more like yesterday’s leading women. I remember back when Leonardo DiCaprio was the “hunk” of the time. To qualify for “hunk” status you should probably weigh more than 150 pounds and not make a habit of tossing your blonde locks out from in front of your eyes when you read lines. Then again, my favorite actors growing up were Stallone, Bruce Willis and Harrison Ford. These guys were a “man’s man.” They liked violence, pretty girls and an occasional drink, and they didn’t apologize for it.

Male Beauty Products

The other day I stopped in a Bath and Body Works store with my wife, despite the immediate threat of an asthma attack. I noticed an entire shelf devoted to “Male Beauty Products” stocked with skin softeners and wrinkle cream. Are you kidding me? Where’s the Lava soap and aftershave? That’s all we need to get clean and smell good. Who buys this stuff, anyway? A local spa is currently running a radio advertisement in which they cite a statistic that something like 30% of people receiving “anti-aging” treatments are men. Huh? When real men start to get wrinkles they just grow a beard. When real men start losing some hair they just shave it close. And speaking of spa treatments, when our nails grow too long we’ll just bite ‘em or clip ‘em, thank you very much!

Real Men Do Have a Soft Side

There are couple things that can still get to a real man, but we’ll never refer to it as showing our “feminine side.” It’s just part of being a man, and a devoted husband and father. My kids are pretty good at tugging on my heartstrings, and I’ve never felt pain like seeing one of them get hurt, or lying in bed sick. It’s one of the few times I feel completely helpless. I also have a soft spot for animals, and Mother Nature’s beauty. Perhaps I inherited that from my grandfather, who in his retirement has become quite the shutterbug snapping up beautiful nature photographs. You probably wouldn’t guess just a few decades before he retired a colonel from the United States Marine Corp. He is the strongest man I’ve ever known, and the most gentle, too - Hollywood should take a clue.

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